A few weeks ago I had the opportunity to visit the newest Church in our Diocese. The pastor is a friend of my pastor and so our staff was invited over for a private tour. What struck me the most in the main church was the altar. It is a very large piece of natural coral with a hole in it. Here is a closer look at it.
The pastor told us about his first homily in the new church. He explained how the altar is where the bread and wine become Jesus' Body and Blood, which is what fills us. The hole reminds us that we are incomplete without the Eucharist. Furthermore, our soul has a hole in it that only God can fill. St. Augustine has said the same thing and a few years ago an all girl Christian band, Plumb, came out with this song, God Shaped Hole. The chorus says: "There a God shaped hole in all of us, And the restless heart is searching. There's a God shaped hole in all of us, And it's a void only He can fill."
For all of Lent I have been searching and praying that the void I feel in my life will be filled. I am restless at work, very forgetful and often unable to concentrate. I don't know what God has planned for me next and I feel like the hole is getting bigger and bigger. I keep doing the things that usually work to fill me up with God, but this time it does not seem to be working.
This weekend I am home alone. I could make plans to do an assortment of activities with friends but I think I am mostly going to be still. It is difficult for me to do this, but I feel that pull that says, "Be still and confess that I am God!" (Ps 46:11)
2 comments:
Glad you allowed yourself some quiet time with God. This world is too noisy and too busy. Quiet prayer is an important aspect of wellness, I think. Some of us by our health challenges are called to do this - God seems to clear the way by limiting our abilities to do anything else. Others have to work hard to make time with God. Fortunately, He gives us the grace to seek and find Him no matter what.
I understand how you feel. That God-shaped hole at times seems to get bigger and bigger even when we feel we're doing all we can to serve God. Maybe He's stretching us for a reason?
As Barb said, some of us (myself included) are compelled to have more quiet time because of physical or mental/emotional health challenges, but really it's beneficial for everyone.
Be blessed!
Evan
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