Who am I (Casting Crowns)

Life and Death

Life and death are opposite of each other.  You either have one or the other, but you certainly cannot have both at the same time.  Today though, I will disagree with myself, as I am holding both of these in some way.
Yesterday was a life filled day.  My husband and I stood up for a couple as their marriage was blessed in the Church, I was the bride's confirmation sponsor and we all were so happy when they received the Body and Blood of Jesus as one for the first time.  So much grace in under an hour.  And then we spent the evening together talking about other weddings, having dinner and laughing.
Today I went to the cancer center to be with my friend as she had her treatment.  She also was told the bad news that the treatment is not working and her cancer has spread, again.  And so we talked about death, heaven, funerals, wills, and burial.  So much grace poured out.  In some ways just like yesterday.
I went back to my office, had a cry and thought about the joy and sadness of the last two days.  Our friends are starting a new life of faith.  My friend is going to die and it is not fair.  I know that her life after death will be full, but it does not take away the sadness I feel at the thought of losing her.
So I sit here, full of hope for all of my friends, that the path they are on is where God wants them and his purpose will be made clear at some point.  Constantly being reminded that life and death are not so much opposite of each other at all.

Matt Redman-Blessed be Your name-lyrics video

4 years!

It's my blogiversary.  I thought up that word on one of my sleepless nights last week, but then I just saw it elsewhere so I guess I didn't think it up myself at all.  Oh well, I like the word.
So, after four years I have written 550 posts.  I began this as a way to add my voice to cyberspace and have a place to vent.  I now try to use it less for venting and more for good thoughts and daily life meanderings.  I also have a blog for our parish website, which is not used for personal venting ever, as that would be in very poor taste and might even get me into trouble.
I like having a blog, though frequently I am less then satisfied with what I post.  And then of course, there is the nagging question, is anyone out there?  Or worse, the times when friends read and then call to chastise me that they have to get info from here rather than a phone call!
In the end, it's good and I plan to continue, just for me to have this little corner to speak my mind and share my thoughts.  It's like the pebble in the water or the butterfly flapping its' wings (according to my husband's metaphysics professor) you never know what is set in motion.

Chris Tomlin - In The Secret

7 Quick Takes

A Friday post hosted by Conversion Diary!

1.  I am preparing the Lenten issue of my parish newsletter.  Sometimes it's difficult to know what to put in it that will spark people's attention.  I would like to include links to prayer sites, so I will work on that this weekend.
2.  It is seminary weekend, so I have big plans!  Well, not really, but I will be taking time to sort through the clutter and loose ends in my head and soul to make some decisions.  Prayer is the big item on my agenda.
3.  Saturday morning though I will have some fun with my mom.  We are going to a flea market that also has a Farmer's Market in it which means I hope to find some great produce for next week's dinners.
4.  I have almost 5 days off in a row from work.  I will go in Sunday morning for a bit, but otherwise I left Wednesday and am not returning until Tuesday.  Yea for me.
5.  I finished reading the Jesuit Guide to (Almost) Everything by Fr. James Martin last night.  Loved it and if you can get past the fact that it is almost 500 pages, pick up a copy and read it.  It's worth it.  Next on my reading list is a St. Ignatius Loyola biography.
6.  Last Saturday was our annual dinner dance.  As far a great party, it was; as a fundraiser, it was not a success.  I am waiting for the final bill from the venue to know for sure how much we raised. 
7.  Sunday is Confirmation, my husband is a sponsor for a good friend of ours.  We have 107 9th graders being confirmed.  Church will be crowded.  My plan was to help organize and support the youth ushers, but I was told it was "under control" by the youth minister.  So, I am going to sit as far up front as possible and ignore whatever is going on behind me.  I hope I can do it.

Book Review

It is official, I am a book nerd.  I tore off the wrapper and inhaled the scent of new print deeply and couldn't wait to dive right into The Fulfillment of All Desire - Study Guide by Ralph Martin with Emily Stimpson.  I was not disappointed!

The wisdom of seven saints, Augustine, Bernard of Clairvaux, Catherine of Siena, Francis de Sales, John of the Cross, Teresa of Avila and Therese of Lisieux in one volume for us to learn from and journey with now. 

The Study Guide briefly summarizes each chapter in the book and then poses a series of questions.  The first set of questions are comprehension and ask you to recall information, explain a concept or draw a conclusion.  The second set, reflection questions, are the type which help you to discover how your new knowledge applies to your life.

Each chapter has a section called "In Brief" which gives information about one of the saints mentioned above or a theological concept.  Key words are listed at the end of each chapter with definitions in the glossary. 

I think this would be a perfect addition when reading the book as it helps you focus and learn from what you are reading. 
This review was written as part of the Catholic book reviewer program from The Catholic Company. Visit The Catholic Company to find more information on The Fulfillment of All Desire Study Guide. They are also a great source for serenity prayer and baptism gifts.

7 Quick Takes

1.  We have a "persistent parent" problem.  The mom has a baby she wants baptized.  The mom has two brothers and so she wants two Godfathers, because she doesn't want either bother to be upset and has no plans for more children.  She keeps calling and no matter what she is told, refuses to understand the rules!  She keeps telling us how St so and so Church said it was okay, so don;t we?  We have all taken to avoiding picking up the phone when she calls. Pretty bad, isn't it?
2.  My daughter will find out in a few weeks if she gets accepted  for a summer mission to Brazil with FOCUS.  I am praying she does.
3.  My parents have been here for a month and the change in my dad is tremendous.  In NY he was in pain and could hardly do anything physical because of vertebrae damage in his neck.  My sister said he was in almost constant pain.  Now, he is out walking, cooking, tearing down wallpaper and more.  I am so glad they are able to come here.
4.  This Saturday is our annual dinner dance.  It is a fundraiser for the church building debt. Not many people are coming, so I'm not sure how much money we are going to raise.  However, the band is great and the food and service as well, so we will all have a great time. 
5.  My friend D.'s hair is falling out because of her chemo treatments.  She is going to get a wig this time, instead of wearing scarves all the time.  A few of us briefly, as in for a nanosecond, contemplated shaving our heads in a show of sisterhood.  She knows we love her.
6.  The upcoming Sunday readings are full of social justice and how we are to serve others and be an example to the world.  We have to "walk the talk, not just talk the talk."
7.  My prayer these days, in a favorite song: Take my Life by Scott Underwood

Find more Quick Takes at Conversion Diary!

Nightmare

I don't dream very often but when I do it is usually a nightmare.  Last night was terrible.  I was being suffocated and woke up screaming, "help me, help me" and feeling physically ill.  I woke up still feeling awful.
I went to today's reading and was struck by these words, "No, you have approached Mount Zion and the city of the living God, the heavenly Jerusalem, and countless angels in festal gathering, and the assembly of the firstborn enrolled in heaven,  and God the judge of all, and the spirits of the just made perfect, and Jesus, the mediator of a new covenant, and the sprinkled blood that speaks more eloquently than that of Abel. " Heb 12:22-24 This is reassuring, God is with me even in my sleep terrors and Jesus has saved me.
I still kept thinking about why I had the dream, what does it mean, why would someone want to kill me?  Your subconscious is what manifests itself in dreams, so clearly there is something going on in my life.
And, there is. But it's not the place to discuss them.  I will leave you with this thought from Conversation with God:  " He may send us physical pain or other real types of suffering:  humiliations, failures, in\sults, misunderstandings from within our own families.. We must not forget that Christ's redemptive work continues through us." 

Comments

If you haven't heard, a priest of the Palm Beach Diocese has admitted to "violations of chastity".  My purpose is not to discuss this issue but to address a comment made on the Palm Beach Post website in regard to this story.  The commenter said he left the Catholic Church, specifically my parish, after we were robbed and he saw the pastor smoking.  Now, someone did steal the collection over Thanksgiving weekend 3 years ago and our pastor smokes.  Why leave the Church because of those two things?  It is so sad the excuses people will use to justify their actions.

Early Morning Randomness

I wake up in the middle of the night or is it early in the morning and as I try to fall back to sleep I remember that I left a candle burning. On my desk. Next to the computer. So here I am after playing endless rounds of Bejeweled Blitz on Facebook. Thinking. Wondering.Considering.  But not sleeping.
I changed my blog template, lipstick lips in honor of Valentine's Day.  I wear lipstick or lip gloss all the time.  Then I thought about when I started this blog; a sleepless night like this one after many sleepless nights.  Sleep leaves me when I have alot on my mind.  The born date of Notlukewarm is Feb 20, 2007.  4 years.  547 posts. Followers and comment too few to mention.  But I am not complaining.  I like having a place to put my thoughts and musings.  So what if I am not famous? 
Made a dress today for the dinner dance Saturday.  Black.  Looks good, comfortable.  I really like the pattern.  It's been in my collection for years (it's now out of print!), but it's the first time I used it.  Glad I did. It's the one on the bottom right. 

Finally had our broken hot tub removed from the backyard.  Next the screening on the porch needs to be repaired.  I like to have this type of work done now when it is not too hot.

Thursday is the feast of St. Blaise.  Do you get your throat blessed that day?  I have a vivid memory of being frightened the first time I saw the candles that were going to be used for the blessing.  Why?  I thought they were going to be lit!  The things kids think.

I found my GRE scores from 1987.  I wonder what I would score if I took it now?

Well, I blew out the candle so maybe I should try to get some sleep.  I have to leave for work in 5 hours.