Monday, May 30, 2011
The Mission
32 Years
For some bloggers who I read that is longer than they have been alive! My math brainy husband tells me that is more than 2/3 of my life that I have spent with him. We haven't been married 32 years; that us when we started dating or as we said back then, "going out." "Going out" meant we had an exclusive relationship. My mother was not happy. She forbid it. I cried, yelled, pleaded; my sister intervened, "Don't worry mom, it won't last." I'm not sure what made my mom change her mind, maybe it was the shock of my sister being on my side, even in a backhanded sort of way or maybe it was because she was still in bed and hadn't had her coffee yet. Who knows?
My husband is an introvert by nature. But he stepped way out of his comfort zone to meet me. He knew me before I knew him in that live in the neighborhood go to the same church sort of way. His brother dated a girl I was in the folk group with and my brothers played basketball at the school gym so that is where he would see me.
I was in high school, he in college when we began dating. We married after four years; he had graduated and I was a junior in college. He proposed to me in our Church, getting down on one knee after carrying the ring in his pocket during the basketball practice. I never actually said "yes" but he put the ring on my finger and we walked to my house to show my family. I was so very happy.
And after all these years, I am still so very happy. We haven't always ben happy. The journey has at times been rough as we found our way to love each other and become adults. Our children are a joy and a blessing to us and I hope that one day they have what we have in our life together. Love, respect, joy and still the thrill when we slow dance. Marriage is not easy, but every day I thank God for the blessing of the man he gave me. I know he does the same.
My husband is an introvert by nature. But he stepped way out of his comfort zone to meet me. He knew me before I knew him in that live in the neighborhood go to the same church sort of way. His brother dated a girl I was in the folk group with and my brothers played basketball at the school gym so that is where he would see me.
I was in high school, he in college when we began dating. We married after four years; he had graduated and I was a junior in college. He proposed to me in our Church, getting down on one knee after carrying the ring in his pocket during the basketball practice. I never actually said "yes" but he put the ring on my finger and we walked to my house to show my family. I was so very happy.
And after all these years, I am still so very happy. We haven't always ben happy. The journey has at times been rough as we found our way to love each other and become adults. Our children are a joy and a blessing to us and I hope that one day they have what we have in our life together. Love, respect, joy and still the thrill when we slow dance. Marriage is not easy, but every day I thank God for the blessing of the man he gave me. I know he does the same.
Friday, May 27, 2011
7 Quick Takes
2. I am sure this news will make your day; I'm wearing my pink converse today because it's Friday!
3. My husband has returned to the living. He finished all the work for his alternative certification program to become a teacher. Now, it all gets hole punched and placed in a binder and given to the district office. He already passed all the exams associated with this program so sometime this summer his official teaching certificate will arrive. I am happy for so many reasons. And thrilled to have my husband back for myself!
4. I heard this quote of St. Augustine's twice this week, so I'll share it with you, "In essentials, unity; in non-essentials, liberty; in all things, charity."
5. The empty bedroom in our house has now become a storage unit for furniture and household items of both our son's girlfriend's and our daughter's stuff. I wonder how long do you keep stuff that your children no longer use or need. SG's stuff is only temporary, until she moves back here. But our daughter is leaving for Australia and really has no idea when she is coming back. So, what do I do with the toaster and trash can and mirror and and and. Then there's the other stuff; old scout uniforms, school projects, toys, and more. UGH! Too much stuff!
6. I can't wait to plan our vacation for this summer. We are probably going to North Carolina and staying at a friend's house. We are considering going white water rafting. When I mentioned this to our daughter, she was a bit miffed that we'd consider doing that without her and her brother, since that was always a great time for all of us together. I really could not work up much sympathy though for either of them. He in East Hampton, NY for the summer and her, going to Brazil and then moving to Australia.
7. Right now, there are many struggles and much suffering with my friend who is dying. Please pray for her and her family as they journey with her from life to death. The journey is long and not easy.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Book Review - The Doubter's Novena
The Doubter's Novena, Nine Steps to Trust with the Apostle Thomas by Mike Aquilina and Christopher Bailey is an awesome little book. When I say "little" I am only referring to the actual size of the book and number of pages; the content is very BIG! Of course, I did not follow instructions and use this book as a novena. I just couldn't put it down once I started reading. Each day of the novena begins with scriptural and/or historical information about Thomas, then we move into the contemporary world and learn how we can be "Just like Thomas." Each day concludes with a prayer to God or asks for Thomas' intercession.
I enjoyed learning about St. Thomas and have a new appreciation for him. I realize that I am like him in some ways; I find it hard to trust at times, I fear the unknown but I desire to foucs on what is important, namely Jesus and detach myself from earthly things. Thomas is willing to do whatever Jesus asks of him and I want to do the same.
There are many quotable snippets in this book, but I will leave you with this thought: "What God is asking us for is a bit of trust - trust in God , first of all, and trust in the people made in his image. When we push our limits and go out into the world, we find that there are good people everywhere waiting for us, hungry for the message we have to bring them."
This review was written as part of the Catholic book reviewer program from The Catholic Company. Visit The Catholic Company to find more information on The Doubter's Novena . They are also a great source for a Catechism of the Catholic Church or a Catholic Bible.
I enjoyed learning about St. Thomas and have a new appreciation for him. I realize that I am like him in some ways; I find it hard to trust at times, I fear the unknown but I desire to foucs on what is important, namely Jesus and detach myself from earthly things. Thomas is willing to do whatever Jesus asks of him and I want to do the same.
There are many quotable snippets in this book, but I will leave you with this thought: "What God is asking us for is a bit of trust - trust in God , first of all, and trust in the people made in his image. When we push our limits and go out into the world, we find that there are good people everywhere waiting for us, hungry for the message we have to bring them."
This review was written as part of the Catholic book reviewer program from The Catholic Company. Visit The Catholic Company to find more information on The Doubter's Novena . They are also a great source for a Catechism of the Catholic Church or a Catholic Bible.
Dress Shopping
Saturday afternoon, at the mall, shopping for a new dress with your girlfriend. Sounds like a good time, even though neither of us are really shoppers. In this case, though, not so much. You see, we weren't shopping for a happy event, but for a sad one. Our friend's funeral. The three of us, D, T, and me, we are sisters in every sense except by birth. (A total aside, our three initials, DDT) D has not died, but she will, possibly soon, though no one knows except God and he hasn't penciled it to any one's planner.
It was very odd, this shopping trip. Most dresses were dismissed as too cheery so it was basic black or nothing. T eventually bought a dress. It looks nice, but there was no pleasure in this shopping expedition, none at all. She also bought a teal shrug; teal is the color for ovarian cancer. I suppose we could have waited to shop, but then it would have been more stressful. Besides, we would only be postponing what seems to be inevitable.
I have never thought about death as much as I have in these last few months. It colors so much of what I do and how I feel. Sometimes my living is too hard.
It was very odd, this shopping trip. Most dresses were dismissed as too cheery so it was basic black or nothing. T eventually bought a dress. It looks nice, but there was no pleasure in this shopping expedition, none at all. She also bought a teal shrug; teal is the color for ovarian cancer. I suppose we could have waited to shop, but then it would have been more stressful. Besides, we would only be postponing what seems to be inevitable.
I have never thought about death as much as I have in these last few months. It colors so much of what I do and how I feel. Sometimes my living is too hard.
Statues of Blessed John Paul II
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| AP Story |
By now, many of you have probably seen this statue of Blessed John Paul II. I will kindly call it very unattractive. Bear in mind that as a rule, modern art leaves me cold. People are in a uproar though about this statue. Thankfully I have a beautiful statue for you to look at instead.
The statue below is the St. Peter Meditation Garden. While it is larger than life - it shows Blessed John Paul II in a familiar pose, reaching out to his people, a look of love on his face, holding his papal cross.
Prayer for the Intercession of
Pope John Paul II
O Holy Trinity,we thank you for having given to the Church Pope John Paul II, and for having made him shine with your fatherly tenderness, the glory of the Cross of Christ and the splendor of the Spirit of love. He, trusting completely in your infinite mercy and in the maternal intercession of Mary, has shown himself in the likeness of Jesus the Good Shepherd and has pointed out to us holiness as the path to reach eternal communion with You. Grant us, through his intercession, according to your will, the grace that we implore,in the hope that he will soon be numbered among your saints. Amen. (from EWTN)
Sunday, May 15, 2011
Liminal Space
Liminal Space - standing in the doorway, in between two spaces; not in one place or the other; waiting to move forward to the 'next' thing
Today was a liminal space sort of day. My friend who is dying from ovarian cancer held her daughter's recital this afternoon. Her daughter sang very well, beautiful voice and was quite composed. Most of the women in the room shed more than a few tears. I didn't. It's not that I don't feel the sadness of it all, the bittersweet taste that lingers far after the event is over almost chokes me. This week I've watched her say goodbye to two people. Both are leaving until the fall and thinking she will be here when they return is not realistic. She is in a liminal space and many of us are there with her. But as a person of faith, I know what is in front of her is far more reassuring than what is in front of the rest of us.
I have never been this close to a person who is dying. I am asked on a regular basis, "how is she?" In my head I sometimes scream "SHE IS DYING!!!!" but I never say it, instead I offer the platitudes people want to hear, "she's doing well, holding on, hoping for the best."
Per her request, I no longer ask her how she is feeling or tell her she looks good. She never feels good, just a 1 - 10 sliding scale of pain and looking good is a truly pointless comment. She'd trade one head for two if it meant her cancer would be gone.
Tomorrow is her birthday. 43. It will most likely be her last one. She hopes to make it to June 4, her son's birthday. She is ready, some days, to move from the liminal space. Other days, she is not.
I pray that when she leaves this liminal space, the rest of us have the courage to do so as well. And so, we pray.
Today was a liminal space sort of day. My friend who is dying from ovarian cancer held her daughter's recital this afternoon. Her daughter sang very well, beautiful voice and was quite composed. Most of the women in the room shed more than a few tears. I didn't. It's not that I don't feel the sadness of it all, the bittersweet taste that lingers far after the event is over almost chokes me. This week I've watched her say goodbye to two people. Both are leaving until the fall and thinking she will be here when they return is not realistic. She is in a liminal space and many of us are there with her. But as a person of faith, I know what is in front of her is far more reassuring than what is in front of the rest of us.
I have never been this close to a person who is dying. I am asked on a regular basis, "how is she?" In my head I sometimes scream "SHE IS DYING!!!!" but I never say it, instead I offer the platitudes people want to hear, "she's doing well, holding on, hoping for the best."
Per her request, I no longer ask her how she is feeling or tell her she looks good. She never feels good, just a 1 - 10 sliding scale of pain and looking good is a truly pointless comment. She'd trade one head for two if it meant her cancer would be gone.
Tomorrow is her birthday. 43. It will most likely be her last one. She hopes to make it to June 4, her son's birthday. She is ready, some days, to move from the liminal space. Other days, she is not.
I pray that when she leaves this liminal space, the rest of us have the courage to do so as well. And so, we pray.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
This is Pro-life!
A worried woman went to her gynecologist and said: ''Doctor, I have a serious problem and desperately need your help! My baby is not even 1 year old and I'm pregnant again. I don't want kids so close together.''
So the doctor said: ''Ok and what do you want me to do?''
She said: ''I want you to end my pregnancy, and I'm counting on your help with this.''
The doctor thought for a little, and after some silence he said to the lady:
''I think I have a better solution for your problem. It's less dangerous for you too.''
She smiled, thinking that the doctor was going to accept her request.
Then he continued: ''You see, in order for you not to have to take care of 2 babies at the same time, let's kill your present one-year-old. This way, you could rest a little before the other one is born. If we're going to kill one of them, it doesn't matter which one it is. There would be no risk for your body if you chose to kill the one in your arms.''
The lady was horrified and said: ''No doctor! How terrible! It's a crime to kill a child!"'
''I agree,'' the doctor replied. ''But you seemed to be OK on killing your unborn child, so I thought maybe that you'd agree to kill the other one. I believe that what I propose, given your situation, is the best solution.''
The doctor smiled, realizing that he had made his point. He convinced the mom that there is no difference in killing a child that's already been born and one that's still in the womb.
The crime is the same!
Thanks to my friend Trish for sending this to me.
So the doctor said: ''Ok and what do you want me to do?''
She said: ''I want you to end my pregnancy, and I'm counting on your help with this.''
The doctor thought for a little, and after some silence he said to the lady:
''I think I have a better solution for your problem. It's less dangerous for you too.''
She smiled, thinking that the doctor was going to accept her request.
Then he continued: ''You see, in order for you not to have to take care of 2 babies at the same time, let's kill your present one-year-old. This way, you could rest a little before the other one is born. If we're going to kill one of them, it doesn't matter which one it is. There would be no risk for your body if you chose to kill the one in your arms.''
The lady was horrified and said: ''No doctor! How terrible! It's a crime to kill a child!"'
''I agree,'' the doctor replied. ''But you seemed to be OK on killing your unborn child, so I thought maybe that you'd agree to kill the other one. I believe that what I propose, given your situation, is the best solution.''
The doctor smiled, realizing that he had made his point. He convinced the mom that there is no difference in killing a child that's already been born and one that's still in the womb.
The crime is the same!
Thanks to my friend Trish for sending this to me.
Friday, May 13, 2011
7 Quick Takes
1. I am ready to be back doing some writing. It is a good way for me to write and this upcoming week may allow me some time to do so.
2. Jennifer asks what would your worst job be in her Quick Takes. My answer, accountant. Anything to do with numbers bores me to tears and frustrates me. Probably because I am bad at math, little details about numbers, and have a hard time seeing patterns in numbers. I am a people person, that's that! What would your worst job be?
3. My son is going back to New York, the Hamptons for the summer. Yes he is going to work, but he will also get to have fun. His girlfriend is also going to work up there. I suppose it is only fair that I have them here for part of the year and her family has them the other part.
4. My daughter has graduated. She choose not to walk, so I have no pictures. She is still in G'ville so we have yet to celebrate. The plan is to celebrate when she comes home from her Brazil mission trip and before she leaves on her next adventure. Hopefully she'll be here more than five minutes!
5. My book group has been reading Interior Castle by St. Teresa of Avila. Yesterday we called it quits. We have tried and tried, but cannot grasp her points. Five women, all of us passionate about reading, very intelligent; among us we have over ten degrees, years of study, one of us a former sister and yet, can't get through it. So, it will go back on my shelf for another time.
6. Mother's Day was a non-event for me. Both children not around, husband up to his eyeballs in studies and certification, so I knew it would be a non-event. But it didn't matter. Why? because as I thought about my children I realized they are both just where they want to be in their life right now. They have been blessed and so I am as well. While a part of me is sad that physically they are not close to me and so I don;t see them very often, they are living out their lives in awesome ways (or at least about to), becoming the person God is calling them to become. What more could I possibly want?
7. I have a new ministry focus in my life right now. I am a part of a Cursillo team which will put on a retreat for women on June 23-26. I am enjoying getting to know the team, writing my talk and soon learning about all my tasks to help make the weekend run smoothly.
2. Jennifer asks what would your worst job be in her Quick Takes. My answer, accountant. Anything to do with numbers bores me to tears and frustrates me. Probably because I am bad at math, little details about numbers, and have a hard time seeing patterns in numbers. I am a people person, that's that! What would your worst job be?
3. My son is going back to New York, the Hamptons for the summer. Yes he is going to work, but he will also get to have fun. His girlfriend is also going to work up there. I suppose it is only fair that I have them here for part of the year and her family has them the other part.
4. My daughter has graduated. She choose not to walk, so I have no pictures. She is still in G'ville so we have yet to celebrate. The plan is to celebrate when she comes home from her Brazil mission trip and before she leaves on her next adventure. Hopefully she'll be here more than five minutes!
5. My book group has been reading Interior Castle by St. Teresa of Avila. Yesterday we called it quits. We have tried and tried, but cannot grasp her points. Five women, all of us passionate about reading, very intelligent; among us we have over ten degrees, years of study, one of us a former sister and yet, can't get through it. So, it will go back on my shelf for another time.
6. Mother's Day was a non-event for me. Both children not around, husband up to his eyeballs in studies and certification, so I knew it would be a non-event. But it didn't matter. Why? because as I thought about my children I realized they are both just where they want to be in their life right now. They have been blessed and so I am as well. While a part of me is sad that physically they are not close to me and so I don;t see them very often, they are living out their lives in awesome ways (or at least about to), becoming the person God is calling them to become. What more could I possibly want?
7. I have a new ministry focus in my life right now. I am a part of a Cursillo team which will put on a retreat for women on June 23-26. I am enjoying getting to know the team, writing my talk and soon learning about all my tasks to help make the weekend run smoothly.
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