31 Years!

In some ways it feels like it happened in the blink of an eye.  But it didn't.  It took us thirty one years to wind up where we are today. Yesterday John said he wished we were still young, I'm not so sure.  I like this small bit of wisdom I have gotten with age.  I could do without the wrinkles, especially the one between my eyes and while John is almost all grey he still has more hair than he needs.

Some years have been a breeze, others more of a challenge.  The past few months have been a challenge for sure, but we have learned what "in sickness and health" means.

When John was in the hospital  I didn't sleep as well without him beside me.  It was so odd, because he's gone away before and it never bothered me.  Of course, this time the reason was illness.  I realized how different my life would be without him and grateful to God beyond measure that John is next to me, where he belongs.

Here's a recent picture, one of my favorite selfies from Italy!

No words needed

Blessed beyond measure

The Sewing Machine

     

The sewing machine is in my family room now, a visual reminder of a person I love and miss and learned so much from while I was a child.  The machine is old, but not yet an antique; black with Singer written across the front in gold.  The casing where the needle is brass colored, dulled with age and use.  I no longer keep a needle in the machine and I’ve removed the motor and light to keep it safe for little ones to touch and look less utilitarian.  It has one knob to turn to set stitch length.  I don't remember how we wound the bobbin.  

Once though, long ago, when I was a girl Nonna (grandmother in Italian) taught me how to sew, guiding the fabric to the needle as I applied steady pressure on the foot pedal while making sure my fingers didn’t get caught.  I made so many clothes on that machine.

At some point I was given a new Singer machine which I kept in my own house.  It wasn’t very pretty but it had a few more features than Nonna’s machine.  But I still liked to sew on the other machine, mainly because it was in Nonna’s house.  The machine reminds me that Nonna taught me so much that I carry with me today. 

My daughter asked long ago if I will pass the machine on to her; I agreed though she never knew my great-grandmother she does know how I feel about her.  I trust she will treasure it as I have all these years. 

Choices

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by all the choices?  All the decisions you have to make in a day, a week, a month, a year?  I spend time with middle school youth and one of things they often talk about is how fun it must be to be an adult because we can do whatever we want!  I laugh.  I laugh because I remember when I thought that very same thing.  Boy, was I wrong.

I realized the other day that for me, the problem  with adulthood is not the responsibilities but the choices.  There are lots of 'adult'things I don't think about often.  I am blessed to have my basic needs and more met.  I have a job, health, great family, all the big things are under control for the most part, not perfect, but good as in I really can't nor should complain.

But I want to do so much.  I want to read so I can learn and grow; to explore using technology and social media to teach and share the Catholic faith; to write books; to be strong and healthy; to work on sewing projects; to help others; to ...; to....; to,,, the list goes on and on.  

But I can't do it all.  Some weeks I feel like I am trying to do it all and realize I am on overload.  I say "no" to someone or something and it eats at me.  I think to myself, well, if I give up this or that I can make it happen. But is makes no sense to give up one good for another and therein lies the crux of the problem.  Most times I am not choosing between a good and bad but between two goods.  How does one decide in non emergency situations what should be done?
In case you've been reading in hopes I have an answer or even a good idea, sorry, I don't.  I occasionally think about giving up sleep so I can do all that I'd like, but I need sleep. The best I can come up with is getting a wife but that's not feasible.  Hiring a housekeeper might free up some time, but honestly, I don't spend much time on housework.
Maybe I should stop trying to live an interesting (at least to me) life.  Nah.  Oh well, if I come up with a solution, I'll get back to you.  If you have a solution, do tell.

Throwback Thursday

On Facebook people often post old photos on Thursday.  I thought I'd give you a slice of this day from 1996.  For some odd reason, I have a 1996 calendar on my desk.  My daughter found it some time ago and when she looked at it she remarked that we seemed quite busy.  Let's see if we were on Feb. 27, 1996.
Hmmm, it seems we had two events.  A den meeting for Peter and a parish council meeting for me.  Of course they were at the same time and so I am guessing that since Elisa was only seven she went with her father and brother to the den meeting while I went to the parish council meeting.  My brother and his wife were visiting but they stayed at our grandmother's house.  Lent had started the previous Wednesday.
Overall, I'd say busy, but not too busy.  Looking at the rest of the month is seems Peter was playing basketball, Elisa was a brownie and playing softball.

Sadly, I cannot find a picture from that time!  Yes, organizing my pictures is on my list for this year. However, just so you can see how cute they were, here's the picture from the first day of school in August of 1996!

Library and Church

I am the oldest of four, but before we were four we were three under ten months old.  Yes, my mother had a set of twins exactly ten months after I was born. My house was very loud, very little privacy and since I was the oldest, I was always being disturbed to help.

Elmhurst Branch of the Queens Library

So as soon as I was old enough I escaped to one of two places, the library or church. Now I was not all that scholarly or holy, but it was quiet in those places.  In the library reading was an acceptable activity.  The library smelled like books and knowledge.  I loved to read and would bring home as many books as I could carry.  I remember being so excited when I was able to get a junior library card and then an adult one.  We also watched movies on Saturday mornings in the basement, those reel to reel movies that had to be changed in the middle of the show.  I can still hear that clacking noise the film made against the reel when it it got to the end of the film.

St. Adalbert Catholic Church in Elmhurst, NY

In Church I would willingly dust the pews and take care of the candles, taking the tea lights out of the small votive holders and putting in fresh ones.  The smell of candle wax made church smell holy and peaceful, somewhat mysterious.  We would dust the statues too and sometimes put flowers on the altar.  Back then, girls were not altar servers so I thought I was oh so special to be allowed up there.
Today I still like the library and church.  I am taken aback if someone tells me they don't have a library card.  How does one not go to the library?  I am blessed to work at a parish where the church has real wax candles in it, so going into the church building, especially when no one else is there has an instant calming effect on me.  Just breathing in that scent for a few moments before going about whatever business I need to do there is like a prayer.
The library and the Church, where would I be without them?