Mass

Not the kind of mass you go to in Church and celebrate, but rather the kind that is growing in your body. which is not a good thing. A mass, which may be solid, growing on your thyroid is upsetting. So are the words needle, biopsy, take cells, test for cancer. When those words are strung together they are even more upsetting. I don't get sick, I don't go to the hospital except to visit others, I wait for other people's test results, not mine. I don't take aspirin, or pills to help me sleep, or lower my cholesterol, or regulate my blood sugar or my hormones. I am healthy. Therefore I cannot have a mass on my thyroid. But, according to the very kind and gentle man who took an ultrasound of it, there is a mass on my thyroid. I feel fine, I do not know how to be a patient; I hold other people's hands, no one holds mine.
So now I wake in the middle of the night and wonder what is this thing growing inside me and to what end will it serve? But I must wait to have a needle stuck in my neck to learn the answer. So I wait, wonder, and pray.