Remember that book, "Who moved my Cheese?" from a few years back. At any rate, the last few weeks I have felt like someone has moved my God and I can't find him. Of course, I know it's me, not Him who has moved, but what do I do now? I keep praying, going to Mass, reading scripture and spiritual books, teaching my class, offering it all up for the greater good, and still, I can't see Him.
In my mind, I am so grateful for all the good I see around me. A few examples: my husband has a new job, after many months of not working it is an answer to prayer and sacrifice. Yesterday, we distributed turkeys and other food to over sixty families in our community through our Food for Families program at church. Our Giving Tree is up and many tags have already been taken so a child's Christmas wish can be fulfilled. Blessings are overflowing and I am constantly thanking God.
But my spirit is so heavy. In today's first reading from Ezekiel God promises us that He will give us rest, seek out the lost, bring back those who have strayed, bind up the injured and heal the sick. I feel very much in need of rest and somehow I have strayed away.
Next week Advent begins. In my usual fashion, when I cannot decide what to do, I seek a book to help. So, I have bought a book called Conversations with God, which I first saw discussed at Happy Catholic. There are a seven volumes, each corresponding to a different liturgical season. I, of course, purchased the Advent and Christmas volume and am looking forward to beginning the season with a new resource. Not that this will do it all, but it's a start.