I have been in an emotionally tough place for the last two weeks. Each time I think I will overcome something happens to send me right back to the not so happy place. It is a place filled with fear, which is not of God. However, no matter how much prayer, thought, logic, or reason I used, I could not get over my fear.
I went to Mass twice on Sunday, 8 am and then 5:30 pm. Each celebrated by a favorite priest 0f mine, so I was really paying attention to their homilies. At 8:00 what hit me was from Psalm 34, "I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears." I have been gripped with fear, almost paralyzed with it and as Fr. Tom said that verse, and explained that God really will take care of me I felt comfort and was reminded that God always answers me.
At 5:30 Fr. Glen spoke about the 40 days Elijah walked through the desert and reminded me that 40 is the length of time it takes for change, to put away the old and become new.
So, my plan is simply this, each and every day, for the next 40, I will claim Psalm 34:5 as my own and let it strengthen me and cast away my fears.
If Elijah could face Jezebel, Ahab, and all the prophets of Baal and still do as God asked, surely I can stop living in fear and do as God asks.