The first thing I was hit with this morning was this: "I bow before the cross made precious by Christ, my Master. I embrace it as his disciple." (from Liturgy of the Hours)
All day I kept wondering, what is my cross to embrace as a disciple of Jesus? Now should come the part where I tell you I prayed and pondered on this and have an answer. Sadly, I'm not sure I do. I think I have an answer, and that is to 'do what is right, not what I want to satisfy my desires.' This is something I need to consider, because I frequently feel (sometimes I really dislike that word, feel) that my desires come last and so I am rarely if ever satisfied. But is that true or some truth I manufacture to allow myself to give in to my desires, even those which are harmful or contrary to how I really want to live my life. I allow myself to be swayed by others far too often. At times, the others are people who I know and are close to me but sometimes others means a society that talks about "have it your way" and "just do it" and "you're worth it." I grew up in the decade tagged the me-generation, so it's hard sometimes to remind myself that "me" is not all that important. This is the beginning of what I discern this Advent season.