Do you ever feel like you are spending too much time pushing and pulling? Lately it seems I am pushing myself to do what needs to be accomplished and trying to pull others along as well.
I thought back to when my children were small and realized that is all started with the childbirth, I had to push, alot and it was hard. We will leave it at that. But then, we push our children in strollers, pull them out of the car seat and push them on swings and pull them out of harm's way. Push them to do well in school and pull them in for dinner. Push them to do their chores and homework, pull them away from the tv. Eventually they leave home, and you push all their stuff into the car and watch them pull out of the driveway. It is not easy, but it is part of life I suppose.
But now, I find myself still doing this push-pull, with myself and others. And I don't like it at all. I have no desire to push or pull people into doing what they ought to do as part of their jobs, ministry commitments, or worse, spiritual growth. But then, when I step back and let things happen as they will, people get upset with me for not keeping after them. Is this really my responsibility or am I so hyper-responsible that I think it is and have convinced others as well?
In truth, all this push-pull has done is drive me towards a pit of despair. I have little energy to push me and it takes effort to pull myself up out of bed most days and do what needs to be done.
Sometimes, life is difficult, and now is one of those times.