The negative

Six weeks ago I began a program of improvement.  It involved an exercise program and eating plan and taking a good look at all of my commitments and deciding what to keep and what to lose.  The good news is that it is working. I wrote more about the experience over at Catholic Mom. The bad news is that I strained my left shoulder, probably on Wednesday and after sitting with frozen peas on it and taking (gasp for me) pain relievers, it feels better but not great.  My family is at a BBQ while I sit at home and ponder why I not only have a bum shoulder but a slight stomach bug.  

I know that whenever positive changes are made and I see results I simply cannot stay with those happy thoughts.  So I thought if I started to chronicle my journey a bit more it could help not only me but others who struggle with seeing the good and positive.  I am great at seeing the negative in myself.  I berate myself for not starting sooner, for having walked this road before; I focus on the negative.  I need to stop.

A brief list of positives I noticed this week in spite of hurting myself.  I wore a dress to Mass today that hasn't fit for a very long time.  Yesterday, when I was getting my hair done (wow, sounds like I am an old lady, but how else do you say that?) I noticed my face in the mirror.  I had cheekbones. 

Now I am feeling a bit attacked and wondering why my body is giving me trouble now that I am being good to it.  It might because it is not as happy with the changes as my mind or spirit.  If I think about it, why would it be happy to be made to work hard at squats and sit ups and rowing and all that sweating when it used to just sit?  Change is not easy and requires perseverance and diligence.  It would be so easy to not do anything because I feel lousy, but if I give in to that temptation it would be a quick downward spiral back to not taking care of myself.

This is my pep talk.  I am taking positive steps to improve my health and well-being.  I am doing it because I am worth it. " Do you not know that your body is a temple of the holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?  For you have been purchased at a price. Therefore, glorify God in your body (1 Cor 6:19-20)." Sometimes when I am working out I think about glorifying God and it helps me continue.   I am taking care of myself because not taking care of myself is not what God wants.  (I know, awkward construction, but you get the point)

My journey will take time; progress is more important than perfection; God knows our hearts and will guide if we listen.