My husband is in the diaconate formation program. At times wives are expected to attend events. At two out of the three we have been told we will become public persons when our husbands are ordained. I am already a bit annoyed it is mentioned over and over without it explained and because I am already a public person. Now, don't think I am making assumptions, I'm not. I have been employed in parishes for almost ten years so it is safe to make this assertion. I don't always like being a public person, but it comes with the territory. My husband is also a rather public person in our parish. One, he is married to me and so attends almost every activity with me. Two, he is involved in ministries of his own.
On the flip side is a good friend who is a deacon's wife. She tells me I will become invisible when my husband is ordained. Well, that would be a welcome change. I'd be quite happy if I could attend Mass on Sunday without hearing a litany of complaints before I even reach the holy water font.
To me, being a public person means people notice your presence or lack thereof at your usual Mass and at parish events. I look at it as part of my responsibility as a parish employee and someone who is trying to spread the Good News. I don't think I could become more public with my husband's ordination and I will wait and see if I become invisible.