Well, we are slightly past the helf way point of Lent. Yesterday was Laetare Sunday so the rose colored vestments were worn, much to one of our deacon's dismay. I keep wondering how my lent is going in termns of the comittments I made on Ash Wednesday. It's not stellar, but not awful. I wonder, does it have to be stellar, or does the trying count? I hope it does. I am reminded of Thomas Merton's Prayer of Abondonment at times like these:
My Lord God, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you and I hope that I have that desire in all that I am doing. And I know that if I do this, you will lead me by the right road although I may know nothing about it. Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death, I will not fear, for you are ever with me and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.
God knows the desires of my heart. Like all of you, I am moving toward Holy Week. Sometimes I am stumbling, groping in the dark or have my eyes fixed straight ahead. I will get there. And sometimes, that's enough.